I ran across this article today:

How to Handle In-Flight Fiascos |

and it got me thinking.  Allegedly, the Christmas bomber started a fire on Continental 253, above Detroit.  The initial new reports indicated that firecrackers had been detonated.

Think about that for a second.

Now read this:

OK, I know you were too lazy to read it.  So, here, I’ve excerpted the crux:

“Nothing particularly memorable happened once I got on the plane. It was snowing heavily in Amsterdam and the takeoff was delayed so the plane could be de-iced. I remember looking out the window at the sunrise as melting crystals kept falling across the window disappearing against a stream from the spray gun’s hot chemical bath. We took off about an hour late. For the next seven hours as we crossed the Atlantic nothing eventful happened.

Just after they announced that we would be landing I heard two people yelling, screaming, then it grew to a muffled chorus of yells and cries, the words “Fire, there’s a fire,” drifted back to where I was sitting in economy window seat 38J. I looked at my companion in next seat over, 38I. He was young man in his early 20s, finance major from the University of Ohio who had been studying in Milan. He looked more confused than afraid tilting his head incredulously trying to figure out what was happening. As I recount this I can’t even remember his name. Everything up until that point was just so normal and unmemorable.”

Now, if you’ve ever flown a transatlantic flight, those planes are pretty big.  They usually sit 2-4-2 or 3-3-3 or the smaller ones 2-3-2.

So, let’s say, this is a Continental Boeing 777

Continental 777

it seats 3-3-3 in coach.

WHAT THE FUCK were the other 8 people in that row doing at the “bomber”:

  • opened his pants
  • took out some kind of explosives/incinderary device(s)
  • ignited some source of fire
  • started the fire

I mean… don’t you think someone would have noticed? Was the in-flight entertainment so compelling that his seatmates couldn’t have been bothered to notice that he was opening his pants, or starting a fire for that matter?

Why did no flight attendants notice this either?  Why were none on hand as someone shouted “fire, fire” as recounted in Rory’s notes above?

I mean, really. People are idiots.

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