For a long while, I’ve had this idea of authoring a book (I have many ideas for books…) about inspirational things or solid advice that past teachers or life experiences have taught me.
Throughout my career, I have had some great (and some dreadful) teachers and some equally outstanding life lessons both bitter and sweet. Recently, I was chatting with a friend who asked if I would want to be 20 all over again, and was surprised when I said no, I wouldn’t. Which got me thinking: I really have very few regrets. All of the worst moments of my life, and the most difficult challenges have equipped me to handle just about anything. The confidence I have earned was not born, it was bred… and is a hard-won patina earned through wounds and scars.
Similarly, a few years ago, I had a bit of an epiphany. I have a few friends that are more than a few years younger than me and I often find myself mentoring them on big life decisions. NO!, I would think… DON’T do THAT! Because my age and experience gives me a reasonable gauge of how THAT experience might turn out. My intent had always been to save my friends the hurt and anguish of making a bad decision with an outcome made more clear by age and wisdom. But, I realized, it is exactly the many poor choices followed by hurt or misery that fortified me and made me who I am today. Sparing them hurt would be disabling their ability to build coping mechanisms and confidence. Perhaps that is the teacher in me. Perhaps not. Scandinavian parents have an adage: Telling a baby not to touch a hot stove means nothing. However, when a child touches a hot stove, he will feel the burn. He will learn on his own not to touch the stove again. Certainly no parent of the year award there, but some pretty powerful psychology nonetheless.
So further to my goal of writing a book of good advice, here is my top 15 list of things I’ve learned from great teachers:
1. Always ask nicely and acknowledge that people are busy and don’t owe you an answer. When you get an answer, be grateful and say thank you.
2. It is indeed lonely at the top.
3. You pay a price for being a smart person in a stupid world.
4. Communicate. In a communication vacuum, people will make up their own details… which often will be worse than actuality.
5. Success is more often celebrated with a stab in the back than a pat on the back.
6. There is a big difference between being cordial and being friends.
7. The past is not the future.
8. Leadership is about doing the work for others and letting them get the accolades and credit for it.
9. Read everything you can, but read it carefully. Most people don’t read carefully.
10. People learn differently. People think differently.
11. Uniformity and conformity are so powerful they usually self-extinguish.
12. Organization is the key to simplicity.
13. Wealth is relative and ultimately unimportant.
14. Noble aims are unsupported by broken means.
15. Karma is for real.